When Things Don’t Click Anymore
One day, all things that are not true will fall away.
The other day I was talking with a friend of mine who is looking for a new job. She has been working in the IT industry ever since she graduated from college and has never had a problem finding a job.
“It’s always been easy,” she told me. “When I was confident about my candidacy for the job, I always got it. This time around, I was also very confident going into the interviews. I felt I was a perfect fit for the jobs. But I wasn’t chosen for any of them. I don’t understand why. It’s very strange and frustrating.”
I have known this friend for many years so I am aware of her desire to get out of the IT industry and do what she truly loves and what comes naturally to her: nutrition and yoga. She even studied nutrition in college but dropped it, feeling that a computer science degree would provide more security and opportunities. But over the last year or so, the urge to pursue what she truly loves has been growing stronger and stronger. Yet, she was still putting this urge aside and not giving it the attention it was asking for.
I guess that’s the nature of human beings… We keep doing what we are doing, even if it doesn’t serve our highest good. This goes on until something happens and forces us to have a deeper look within.
So many of us choose to do a job and lead a life because of our conditioning. We are influenced by our family, society, or the school system we went through. We get so much input from them on what a good and successful life looks like, by their definitions anyway. Unless we’re firmly grounded within ourselves, it’s very hard to filter out what doesn’t apply. Until we learn to listen and trust our authentic self, we keep living life by borrowed concepts of “success.” And, on top of that, we convince ourselves that these generic measures must be true for us.
For example, we believe that we can always pursue our true interests on the side while doing a day job that’s secure and well paid. It’s great when people manage to combine their day job with their true interests and find a harmony in that. But I see that most of us (I’ve been there too) get so tangled into our daily lives that we often end up having neither the time nor the energy to pursue what truly interests us. Our passions end up getting dusty on the shelf labelled “on the side…” while frustration keeps building up.
Finally, one day, life sends us an unexpected sweeping wave that shakes us up and reminds us of what we have forgotten. It often hits us in a way that hurts the most - through our deepest attachments. Unfortunately, that’s the only way to make us stop and finally have a closer look inside.
These sweeping waves are different for everyone. Like my friend, you might not get a job even if you are a perfect fit. Or, you might get sick or lose a relationship you truly cherished. Those are just a few examples…
If we ignore a wave that’s signaling us to change, life will send another and another until it washes us out completely. We’ll have no stamina left to resist anymore, so we’ll fall into hopelessness. This sounds terrible, but only then we gain the humility to look inside. The wave shines a spotlight on why things are not clicking anymore and what really needs our attention and nourishment.
Daring to unpeel our own artichoke and have an honest look into its heart is a brave move. Accepting what you find there is a humbling experience. From that place, if you dare to take one more step inwards, you’ll be able to intuitively sense what’s best for you rather than to decide with the egoistic mind. This is all a time consuming process, unfortunately, and doesn’t happen in a snap of the fingers. But it is all to the better. If you are persistent enough to go the full way, it will eventually bring you home, to your authentic self.
So that would be my wish for you: when things don’t click anymore, instead of running in all directions and eclipsing yourself with the outside noise, instead, take it as an opportunity to humbly look inside and notice what’s truly calling for change. Once you identify and reflect on it, then intuitively sense what would be best for you. Maybe for now you don’t need to take any action. Just simply accepting the situation and allowing your life to unfold naturally could be your “best next move.”